a pirates story….

Listen to the jingle jangle of the pirates many keys
and the ruckus of the souls who have been unlocked by those keys.
A RECKLESS pirate let them out but never put them back!
Going from door to door out of crazed curiousity
he used and plundered for his own enjoyment.
He wonders why the world hates him so…
Oh what a poor pirate,
wandering the fair seas
with never a home to call his own
With such joy the spirits do lift him up
above those who he has wronged
so he can see
but even the purest of spirits won’t change the pirate because he is
only loyal to himself
Such a sad sight,
the homeless, loveless pirate
If only he could make out the sight of something
true to form
He does not know to keep those souls behind the locked doors.
He sees the shores as his enemies and feels it is his plight
to make sure his work is done
guided by his MIGHT.
The holiest might that screams, RIGHTEOUS, at the same time
AYE MATEY
Furthering on a timeless ship that hopes to someday
win this fight
only all the seas have made him sick
and alas he cannot see very well
NO ONE IS FIGHTING

when life happens….

Everybody goes through things every day that helps to mold the reality they live in. When I am on the bus, walking down the street… I listen. I listen to people and what they are going through. I try to figure out or imagine how that person is feeling or what could be going on. When I see people on the bus with a scowl on their face, or looking at the window longingly … I sometimes want to go ask them what’s going on in their head. I don’t know why I want to know. I think maybe just the desire to have a greater understanding of the humans. ?? I also love watching human interaction because everyone is so different. Even me. I question myself a lot of times and sometimes I wonder if people see me and wonder what’s going on in my head…. or if they are just so wrapped up in their own ?? Anyway — just some thoughts I wanted to throw out there.

I am still freaked out by Friday when I was crying like a maniac – I don’t think I have ever cried like that in front of someone else before – ever. I think it was one of those things where I started crying about one thing – and then my friend was asking me about my brother (who died this year) so I started crying about that – and then he was asking me about the rest of my family so I started crying about that – oh man I was a blabbering mess. I should feel okay about it but for some reason I feel like I was weak and shouldn’t have shown that side of myself… but then again – I guess it’s okay to cry sometimes like that? It was a new experience for me lets just put it that way. If clarity is less than confusion than process. I am currently processing.

Who knows…..

You might be confused if….

People seem to be your friends but they’re probably using you.
People do things for you out of the goodness of their heart but then use it to make you feel guilty.
You know what you feel but others tell you that that’s not how you feel.
You are making decisions based off the good of everyone involved and are accused of being selfish and controlling.
A preacher tells you that your exsistence doesn’t matter in this world unless you truly believe every word of the bible – literally.
Communication lines between others are like strands of a spiders web….where the slightest breeze can break them.

I might be confused.

Kevin & Jason taught me one of many things in life : No one is here for you except for you.