talking to myself

July 18, 2008

FUCK!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

I lost my phone. My lifeline. I have a fucking show tonight and no way to contact anyone. No way to find out if my sound guys are gonna show up on time, no way to find out who the opening band is because a band dropped off yesterday….. no way to know if the bands are going to be late. Shit shit shit. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried about losing my phone – but it is a show day. On show days, a phone is important.

FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

I don’t want to do anything today – I want to go home and lay in my bed and sleep and think about life (maybe go to the gym?). My roommate always knows what to say to me to make me think anyway – he said some things to me this morning again, in the vein of that I am slutty and have no respect for myself or him…and that he shouldn’t care about me if I don’t care about him. We have this crazy brother sister type relationship…. it’s really odd. I understand where he is coming from – and I probably have done slutty things for sure, but I do have respect for myself and for him and his girlfriend. Ah well – I should be telling him this not blogging it. Maybe I should just amend my timesheet and go home. Fuck. I need to wait until 3 when the place I hope my phone is opens, its right by my work….. so I can’t really go home.
Why do I make all these damn flyers and then the fucking bands drop off ??? Okay I am just venting now. Shit.
This is going to be a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg day. I’m cold. This building is cold.
I can’t wait for tomorrow so that I can just chill the fuck out. because I have a show sunday too. …

once again.

Fuck.

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