talking to myself

September 26, 2019

A new path

Filed under: Life, writing — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 12:45 pm

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

I stalled. I panicked.

If it took to long to answer maybe he wouldn’t believe me.

But I’m scared. I’m terrified.I don’t know that I’ve ever trusted anyone.

I don’t even fully┬átrust myself sometimes.

“Yes.” I said.

“I love you” he replied.

My heart beating outside my chest.

I don’t know if I can do this.

Did I lie?

Then I remember all the loss

All the grief

All the disappointment

From trust.

I loved to trust those who hurt me. It was a vicious cycle to keep me alive.

Hurting, but alive.

I’m free now, free of that vicious cycle

How can I trust myself with how I’ve trusted before

This is different

But will I ruin it?

I ask, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes” he replies, not missing a beat.

At least I’m not alone.

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