talking to myself

November 5, 2008

a motivationist outlook on self created self motivational motivation

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , — crazygina @ 1:57 pm

I don’t know if it exists!!!!

I will get off the computer (by noon) … and clean the litter box, take out all the trash and recyclables…. and put away my stuff I got from my sister and do the few dishes.

I think that putting it out there on paper/the screen helps to make myself do it. Because ya know.. I posted a blog about it, so I have to do it now right? Doesn’t that make it more official or something?

I have been really busy since I got back from the salton sea and I can’t even think of what I have been doing? I feel like the past week and a half have felt like 2 months. I guess that’s good then?

I am going to start doing shows next year at the upstairs I really really hope. I sent out a contract for another shoot the lights out dance party and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. I hope she takes the time to read the whole thing and make it happen for me.  The dance parties are always a blast to put on.

OH yea  – I am going to add sending out applications to my list of things to do today too.

This blog is very not exciting. That’s alright though. It’s more for me I think

August 21, 2008

dance it off?

Filed under: Life, random — Tags: , , , , — crazygina @ 12:26 pm

When dancing it off goes wrong…..

Ugh I don’t like when I get all drunk and crazy and dance all up on dudes. I mean… it’s fun at the time – but then I look back and I’m like.. damn, that was slutty.

Oh well.. it’s not like I took them home with me. *plead the fifth*

Anyhow – I have my going away lunch today with my work people – at Joes Crab Shack in Old Sacramento – that place is so good. I am a little hungover so food sounds really good right now.

I am really excited about the upcoming shows – my friend Eve has been such a blessing in helping me get things going promotion wise. It’s great. I feel a little bit relieved.

Well… I just wanted to post something real quick. I am happy though. 🙂 that’s good.

August 1, 2008

the terminator

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 12:18 pm

So this whole budget thing and executive order that Arnold signed yesterday has put everyone around here in the office in a tissy! My job is barely hanging on – and I have been told that at any moment I could be unemployed.

It’s actually kind of exciting…..thinking that I wouldn’t have to go to work. I mean – I know that I would eventually – but I started pondering … and trying to come up with alternate ways to make money or how to survive off that last paycheck… and I found myself coming up with some interesting ideas which sparked my brain and now I kind of want to be unemployed (until my phone bill comes)….

It was akward to clean out my desk yesterday, say bye to everyone, turn in my badge…. and then … come back today. People seemed happy to see me though, and had work for me to do right away.

Today is a short day though – have to go set up for the dance party tonight. I am still sore from bootcamp and dancing all night last night, so I’ll probably just work the door until I get the urge and have to dance….which WILL happen.

The last dance party was on a thursday and we had 220 people – and we have been promoting the hell out of this thing ALL month long and it’s on a friday – so I can’t imagine how it’s going to turn out. Really excited.

July 30, 2008

sleeeep

Filed under: Bands, Life, Music — Tags: , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 1:56 pm

I am falling asleep at my desk.

I had a show last night – the worst show ever at the upstairs – and the most expensive show ever.

The bands, however, said they had an amazing time. Soooo… as long as the bands are happy – I am good. I just wish there would have been people there to see them play.

I partied like crazy yesterday – went to bed around 4am then woke up at 7am for a job interview – then work. The bands might still be at my house. I just want to go home and sleeeeep.

It was nice to see the A Thorn for Every Heart again and I’m looking forward to seeing them the end of august. The Lives of Famous Men were certainly nice chaps as well.

Friday is the huge dance party – the 2nd one we have done….and this time its on a friday so it’s going to be way more off the hook than the last one. And maybe I’ll make back some of the money that I lost on the show last night. AAHHH!!

I did get drunk last night – but I didn’t do anything I regret… so that’s good! I am just so sleepy. Is it better to be a sleepy zombie all day or to go home and sleep?!

July 25, 2008

most of my posts…

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 11:05 am

So I was reading through my posts… and I’m realizing that they almost all have some kind of theme to them associated with change. Perhaps that is something that is always on my mind in some way or another. It’s something that my life revolves around.

I started to think about the way I live my life and the amount of change that has occured in my life due to myself wanting to please other people instead of what I want to do… and it always seems like I am unhappy the more that I focus on others needs because I always want to help those who feel like they don’t need help or want help so I get taken advantage of. So….onto more change… more change in the persuit of happiness.
It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. I like to think of myself as a pretty easy to please person. Small things make me happy. I can handle the big stuff on my own much easier – I just need help in between. Anyway – I love change.. that’s probably why I talk about it so much, because I find it so interesting. Not sure if anyone reading this finds it interesting.

On another note – since I started blogging… for some reason – I feel more confident in myself. It’s like – I get on here – put my thoughts out there … and then it’s out. I hold back a lot of myself sometimes worrying that anyone will get to know “the real me” – even though my friends will argue that they all know the real me, and that I am easy to figure out … Maybe I am?! I guess that isn’t really a bad thing.

This weekend should be cool – I am going out to another dance thing with MUST.NOT.DIE and then saturday I have an acoustic show at the java lounge and sunday another show at the upstairs. oh man I wish I actually made money on these shows sometimes.. it’s so much work!! I just keep telling myself to be patient. It has been over 10 years I have been doing shows and I think that finally it may be coming around …. but the music industry is so up and down.
Ah well – KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!

July 22, 2008

I hate that….

It really bothers me when people who are your “really good friends” use that against you when they are upset. I understand forgive and forget, but I really feel like I am being projected onto because of other people’s personal issues.

Anyway – I think I am going a little boy crazy lately and this is a very new thing for me. I have never really been actively distracted by men too much – but for some reason I’ve been just out and about and feeling like I could actually go on a date or two. I never date. I just don’t. I just have always kind of felt like when you met that person you’re supposed to be with – you’ll know .. and so dating around has never really appealed to me. But.. now I’m starting to think … crap! I have been single my entire life… maybe I should let myself date…? It’s the weirdest thing for me … so I guess I just have to try it out and see if I like it or not. There isn’t any other way to find out except just experiencing it I guess. Although – thinking about dating boys/men is starting to distract me. I know that I am a big flirt already so it’s just making it worse. oh geeze.

At least I am still doing what I need to do – taking care of work, and my shows. Working hard. I have two interviews next week (THANK GOODNESS) for new jobs since I lose my job in about a month.

I am antsy right now.

I took a nap in the park this afternoon and meant to only sleep for an hour but I wound up being out there for two hours…. it was actually kind of nice, but I wish now that I slept in the shade. I like being hot though. It feels good.

I went dancing again last night – I love dancing but I have to stop getting so intoxicated so that I can have more fun and not make an ass of myself or be dancing all up on people like I was last night. Not looking forward to those pictures. oh man. I asked Nick not to post them….but I doubt that he really cares.

Anyway – I better get back to work.

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