talking to myself

August 21, 2008

dance it off?

Filed under: Life, random — Tags: , , , , — crazygina @ 12:26 pm

When dancing it off goes wrong…..

Ugh I don’t like when I get all drunk and crazy and dance all up on dudes. I mean… it’s fun at the time – but then I look back and I’m like.. damn, that was slutty.

Oh well.. it’s not like I took them home with me. *plead the fifth*

Anyhow – I have my going away lunch today with my work people – at Joes Crab Shack in Old Sacramento – that place is so good. I am a little hungover so food sounds really good right now.

I am really excited about the upcoming shows – my friend Eve has been such a blessing in helping me get things going promotion wise. It’s great. I feel a little bit relieved.

Well… I just wanted to post something real quick. I am happy though. 🙂 that’s good.

July 25, 2008

most of my posts…

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 11:05 am

So I was reading through my posts… and I’m realizing that they almost all have some kind of theme to them associated with change. Perhaps that is something that is always on my mind in some way or another. It’s something that my life revolves around.

I started to think about the way I live my life and the amount of change that has occured in my life due to myself wanting to please other people instead of what I want to do… and it always seems like I am unhappy the more that I focus on others needs because I always want to help those who feel like they don’t need help or want help so I get taken advantage of. So….onto more change… more change in the persuit of happiness.
It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. I like to think of myself as a pretty easy to please person. Small things make me happy. I can handle the big stuff on my own much easier – I just need help in between. Anyway – I love change.. that’s probably why I talk about it so much, because I find it so interesting. Not sure if anyone reading this finds it interesting.

On another note – since I started blogging… for some reason – I feel more confident in myself. It’s like – I get on here – put my thoughts out there … and then it’s out. I hold back a lot of myself sometimes worrying that anyone will get to know “the real me” – even though my friends will argue that they all know the real me, and that I am easy to figure out … Maybe I am?! I guess that isn’t really a bad thing.

This weekend should be cool – I am going out to another dance thing with MUST.NOT.DIE and then saturday I have an acoustic show at the java lounge and sunday another show at the upstairs. oh man I wish I actually made money on these shows sometimes.. it’s so much work!! I just keep telling myself to be patient. It has been over 10 years I have been doing shows and I think that finally it may be coming around …. but the music industry is so up and down.
Ah well – KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!

July 13, 2008

party time. excellent.

So I had to post two blogs today — since I had one that was me venting and irritated… this is the happy blog.

This is the happy blog about the dance party that we had for me and Joseph’s birthday with MUST.NOT.DIE … and two other sacramento DJs, Diamondmonsterrr and Nick Avey

The party was absolutely crazy. I couldn’t have imagined the amount of people that showed up. It was one of those things where a few people came by, we had over 300 jello shots… and just got it started right away – with the music crackin, people dancing and James & Colin passing out the jello shots:

Then as people showed up … the dancing started…

and then more and more and more people showed up…

and it just was crrraaazzyyyy

aaannnnddd heres meee

sooo the partying went on and on.

Not only did the partying continue on and on…my friend picked me up on his shoulders and carried me around the party giving high fives and dancing. It was SUCH a blast. 🙂 I felt like such a huge celebrity. It was so incredible. Hopefully this party will really help kick off our next dance event that we put on.
Anyway, it was the best birthday that I have ever had — and we wound up having over 200 people and the streets were filled with people just drinking and hanging out and dancing and cheering and it was greeeaaatttt.
And the best part about the whole thing is that I MANAGED TO BE SOBER!!! which was amazing because I remembered everything and I got to dance all night and not have to worry about myself acting all weird or drunk or doing dumb shit. 🙂 Yes for having a great sober birthday!

July 4, 2008

can I get a what what?

Filed under: Life, Venting — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 12:50 am

Sometimes I feel like I have more control over myself than I know…. and other times I feel like a dumb idiot who has no self control. Alcohol is a bitch. Have one or two and you feel good. Three or four and you start to lose control… five or six and you’re done for.

Some people say when you drink, the “real you” comes out.. the real feelings…. some people say when you drink, the worst of yourself comes out.. or the best. For me…. you never know. It could be good… it could be bad. When it’s good…its great. but when it’s bad… its REALLY bad.

I am just appreciative of everything that I have and every opportunity I have to spend with my friends and have a good time and be happy. These days should be every day. I try to be the best friend I can be, and be there for my friends if they need anything. I do, however, need to work on my self control when in drinking situations. I have such a hard time when I feel really intensely passionate about something to not let it come out in that sense when I have a few drinks. I love life. Apparently I am intimidating? I should just feel things out and work harder on my brain/mouth control. I tend to say things before I think about them – something I do even when I am not drinking.

Anyway — life is good. Tomorrow is another day. Time to get some sleep.

July 3, 2008

RISE AND SHINE!!

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 9:38 am

For some reason on my day off I decided to wake up at 6:00 and go to the gym…earlier than I ever wake up on a workday. I guess starting my day earlier makes it seem like I have a longer day…. and more time to get stuff done. Even though I wanted today to be a lazy day and didn’t want to do anything – now that I am up, I feel really motivated to get shit done. That will probably be better for me anyway.

I am finding lazy people more and more irritating lately.  I have a tattoo on my arm that says, “don’t even stand up if you have nothing to bring”, and it’s ringing true to me in so many ways… especially for myself.

I was depressed for about 2 months – feeling really terrible about my motivational status and lack of gumption for life. I knew that it would pass – but didn’t know when and I felt like such a bummer to other people. I am really hard on myself sometimes, I am learning how to just chill out though, at least a little bit. Sometimes I feel like if I am not hard on myself though, no one else will be, so it’s better that way. Until it drives me up a wall….or into a wall.

Another day – another blue sky and green trees to enjoy. I really hope you are finding something to enjoy today. There has to be at least one thing that made you smile today… and if not… find something. Okay if you don’t………do these work?

ahahahhaahhhh the blog

July 2, 2008

another way in?

Filed under: Life, random — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 10:33 am

Somehow I managed to get on here at work – maybe they did something to the filter? Anyway – last night I argued with my mom.. nothing new. But we don’t argue, we discuss. I can agree with that… we usually come out of the “discussions” with some kind of insight so I don’t mind it. Even when I’m wrong.

July 2nd. My roommate paid me rent… on time… without me asking. So stoked about that. I’ve been listening to TONS of Third Eye Blind lately (my favorite band of all time). Every time I listen to them something inside of me just perks up … and I feel good…. so the constant 3eb has been theraputic.

The smog/fire smoke isn’t so bad lately so we’re getting the sun back. I love the sun and I think that if it was a few thousand years ago I would have definitely been a sun worshipper – I feel that way now with the energy brought out by the different types of weather…. I love energy and noticing energy and listening to it. It’s intense.

Life is pretty good. I like being alive. I keep warning people about the changing times a-comin’ but no one is really listening to me. I am way serious though. We’re headed for a huge major earth/social change very very soon (within 5 years). I can feel it….. and it’s already in motion – all over the world. My advice – STAY GROUNDED and you’ll be fine.  Money doesn’t matter when you don’t have food to eat.

July 1, 2008

it takes me back…

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , — crazygina @ 7:09 pm

You know how there are some things that automatically revert you back into 5 year old mode? No matter how old you are, it always affects you that way?

Yea…. I wish I could control that better. Damn.

Today was decent. I made a silly vow to myself to make July better than May and June. It worked today.  On to tomorrow! WOOO!!

I just think of how much worse everything could be…. ya know… look on the bright side, stay positive…keep smiling, all that crap. It really works. It’s not crap. Smile at some people during the day – I promise it will make you feel better!!!!! If not… you’ll definitely learn something!

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