talking to myself

August 4, 2008

what weekend?

I was in a serious mood all weekend. At the dance party I was at the door all night – didn’t drink, didn’t dance. Nothing. Just worked at the door – and thank goodness for Ryan and Emily – who, without, I would have never been able to run the door in any kind of sane fashion.

Then Saturday I got up – went to bootcamp … then worked on some stuff at home – bought a few groceries – and then went to the movies with a friend. Saw the new Batman movie. I thought the whole thing was one giant action scene and the dialog was TERRIBLE. Now… granted the dialog doesn’t have to be the best thing in the world – but come on people. The action scenes were pretty bad ass though I will have to give them that. Overall I was kind of impressed, I wouldn’t have really gone out of my way to see it if I knew what it would have been like – maybe I should see it again? Sometimes the second time around I like movies better. We also missed the very beginning of the movie and I think that really bothered me throughout the whole thing. Just because I learned so much about movie beginnings in college and how important they are to the story. Eh. Maybe I will go see it again.
after the movie I went to a few bars and my roommate was out with his girlfriend and he was drunk. I ran into a bunch of people that I knew – and attempted to go to a dance party – but I didn’t drink and it was really late already so I just walked home alone …

Anyway – so saturday I missed a good friend’s wedding reception. I wrote it down in my planner and somehow completely missed it. I am so bummed. And I don’t have his number to get a hold of him since I had lost my phone – I feel like such a terrible friend 😦

Sunday I did laundry and a ton of band junk online. I now tell people to email me instead of myspace about shows – it’s SO much easier to keep track of dates that way.

I bought a bunch of blueberries since they were on sale at safeway, woohoo! And two avocados and some carrots. I read online about eating too many carrots turning you a orange-ish color (when I was on the carrot kick a week or so ago) and I thought that was a GREAT way to get a nice glow. I need more carrots! I ate an entire avocado yesterday that I mashed up and mixed some chicken into then ate it with some organic chips. It was really good. Yesterday I was so lethargic and I layed around almost all day – my whole body was just exhasted and I could barely get around the house and do anything without feeling almost narcoleptic.

This week is an interesting week. I hope the show goes well tonight – that way I will have money for this week – because if it doesn’t I could potentially be screwed at least until payday on friday. I am feeling much better about myself lately – and I know that it’s directly related to exercise, food and not drinking.

I wanted to party this weekend – but it just didn’t work out. Oh well. Maybe next weekend.

August 1, 2008

the terminator

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 12:18 pm

So this whole budget thing and executive order that Arnold signed yesterday has put everyone around here in the office in a tissy! My job is barely hanging on – and I have been told that at any moment I could be unemployed.

It’s actually kind of exciting…..thinking that I wouldn’t have to go to work. I mean – I know that I would eventually – but I started pondering … and trying to come up with alternate ways to make money or how to survive off that last paycheck… and I found myself coming up with some interesting ideas which sparked my brain and now I kind of want to be unemployed (until my phone bill comes)….

It was akward to clean out my desk yesterday, say bye to everyone, turn in my badge…. and then … come back today. People seemed happy to see me though, and had work for me to do right away.

Today is a short day though – have to go set up for the dance party tonight. I am still sore from bootcamp and dancing all night last night, so I’ll probably just work the door until I get the urge and have to dance….which WILL happen.

The last dance party was on a thursday and we had 220 people – and we have been promoting the hell out of this thing ALL month long and it’s on a friday – so I can’t imagine how it’s going to turn out. Really excited.

July 25, 2008

most of my posts…

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 11:05 am

So I was reading through my posts… and I’m realizing that they almost all have some kind of theme to them associated with change. Perhaps that is something that is always on my mind in some way or another. It’s something that my life revolves around.

I started to think about the way I live my life and the amount of change that has occured in my life due to myself wanting to please other people instead of what I want to do… and it always seems like I am unhappy the more that I focus on others needs because I always want to help those who feel like they don’t need help or want help so I get taken advantage of. So….onto more change… more change in the persuit of happiness.
It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. I like to think of myself as a pretty easy to please person. Small things make me happy. I can handle the big stuff on my own much easier – I just need help in between. Anyway – I love change.. that’s probably why I talk about it so much, because I find it so interesting. Not sure if anyone reading this finds it interesting.

On another note – since I started blogging… for some reason – I feel more confident in myself. It’s like – I get on here – put my thoughts out there … and then it’s out. I hold back a lot of myself sometimes worrying that anyone will get to know “the real me” – even though my friends will argue that they all know the real me, and that I am easy to figure out … Maybe I am?! I guess that isn’t really a bad thing.

This weekend should be cool – I am going out to another dance thing with MUST.NOT.DIE and then saturday I have an acoustic show at the java lounge and sunday another show at the upstairs. oh man I wish I actually made money on these shows sometimes.. it’s so much work!! I just keep telling myself to be patient. It has been over 10 years I have been doing shows and I think that finally it may be coming around …. but the music industry is so up and down.
Ah well – KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!

July 21, 2008

What constitutes a good time?

How many things have to go “right” vs. “wrong” before you’re having a good time. I know some people go out and something bothers them so much that they don’t have fun. Others just let it roll off their backs and just have a good time anyway….

That really didn’t have much to do with why I clicked on “write post” today. I had a very interesting past four days. I am learning so much lately – I feel like I am actually making some kind of forward progress and it’s all stemming from sticking to my ground and doing what I want. All the while, not being persuaded by others. Which leads me to believe that I need to continue sticking to what I want, which I have never done before because I always try to make everyone else happy. I have made a vow to myself to not become involved in situations that I don’t have as much control over as possible, so that if shit hits the fan, it’s my own fault. Which sucks for other people – but I do what I have to do.
I don’t want to owe anybody. I don’t want to be obligated to anyone. I DO want help, but I do NOT want guilt. I want team-mates, but I need to be the captain.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for team-mates. If someone doesn’t want to be on my team they don’t have to …. !
Anyway – enough with the silly analogies.
The weekend was good. Show on friday night – after party – then saturday I did some laundry and chilled out – and had another show last night.
I am really excited about The Upstairs … the shows are getting better and better and the word is really spreading.
This week should be decent. Working – promoting – booking – gym .. continuing to not let dumb shit get to me. Optimism – day 21. It’s still working. Mostly. haha Show again on sunday – which I still need another band for – but I will get someone on my lunch break when I can get on myspace and get some stuff confirmed. I really like my life right now. I am not sure how I am going to get by in August when I lose my job, but I know that I will…. so I am not too worried. I just keep working hard. Work work work.

July 13, 2008

party time. excellent.

So I had to post two blogs today — since I had one that was me venting and irritated… this is the happy blog.

This is the happy blog about the dance party that we had for me and Joseph’s birthday with MUST.NOT.DIE … and two other sacramento DJs, Diamondmonsterrr and Nick Avey

The party was absolutely crazy. I couldn’t have imagined the amount of people that showed up. It was one of those things where a few people came by, we had over 300 jello shots… and just got it started right away – with the music crackin, people dancing and James & Colin passing out the jello shots:

Then as people showed up … the dancing started…

and then more and more and more people showed up…

and it just was crrraaazzyyyy

aaannnnddd heres meee

sooo the partying went on and on.

Not only did the partying continue on and on…my friend picked me up on his shoulders and carried me around the party giving high fives and dancing. It was SUCH a blast. 🙂 I felt like such a huge celebrity. It was so incredible. Hopefully this party will really help kick off our next dance event that we put on.
Anyway, it was the best birthday that I have ever had — and we wound up having over 200 people and the streets were filled with people just drinking and hanging out and dancing and cheering and it was greeeaaatttt.
And the best part about the whole thing is that I MANAGED TO BE SOBER!!! which was amazing because I remembered everything and I got to dance all night and not have to worry about myself acting all weird or drunk or doing dumb shit. 🙂 Yes for having a great sober birthday!

July 11, 2008

Schmoozin’ and Boozin’

So I went to this “industry” party last night at a record studio. It was fun to get there and do the whole who’s who. To walk around giving everyone the head nod, the “HEY!!!!” and the subtle eye contact. Most people I knew, but there were a few I had the opportunity to meet and network with.
There was an open bar at the studio. Free beer…. free wine… and after everyone had left and it was just me and two of the bands, the owner, and maybe a few stragglers, they busted out the patron. THAT I could have done without.
I went to bed around 4 and woke up at 7. I am at work right now. Reeeeaaalllly loopy. Not sure loopy is the right word for it. HA! I just found out that my plans tonight are cancelled and oh man I have never been so excited about that in my entire life. So now I get to FINALLY relax before the huge party tomorrow night for my two dozenth birthday.
Work should be slow. Not much do to and I get to leave at noon. On a side note, but directly related to this post, the party last night was really really fun. It’s nice to hang out with people who really care about the scene and to converse with them…. talk about ideas and thoughts … and how we’re all in it together. It was very unifying…. really motivated me. It was a great night.
I had a fabulous time at dinner with Janice beforehand, and I wish I would have known they were going to have a smorgasboard of free food at this studio, but hey I did get out of there with some free wine and beer in my backpack. WOO.
All in all I give last night a 8.9 out of 10 stars.
Sweeeeet.

Blog at WordPress.com.