talking to myself

July 28, 2008

when life happens….

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — crazygina @ 11:35 am

Everybody goes through things every day that helps to mold the reality they live in. When I am on the bus, walking down the street… I listen. I listen to people and what they are going through. I try to figure out or imagine how that person is feeling or what could be going on. When I see people on the bus with a scowl on their face, or looking at the window longingly … I sometimes want to go ask them what’s going on in their head. I don’t know why I want to know. I think maybe just the desire to have a greater understanding of the humans. ?? I also love watching human interaction because everyone is so different. Even me. I question myself a lot of times and sometimes I wonder if people see me and wonder what’s going on in my head…. or if they are just so wrapped up in their own ?? Anyway — just some thoughts I wanted to throw out there.

I am still freaked out by Friday when I was crying like a maniac – I don’t think I have ever cried like that in front of someone else before – ever. I think it was one of those things where I started crying about one thing – and then my friend was asking me about my brother (who died this year) so I started crying about that – and then he was asking me about the rest of my family so I started crying about that – oh man I was a blabbering mess. I should feel okay about it but for some reason I feel like I was weak and shouldn’t have shown that side of myself… but then again – I guess it’s okay to cry sometimes like that? It was a new experience for me lets just put it that way. If clarity is less than confusion than process. I am currently processing.

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June 28, 2008

progress, change, growth….

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , , — crazygina @ 6:35 am

Why is it that some humans choose the path of the quest for knowledge and understanding and others don’t? I was talking to someone today and I told them that I see people as individual brains. Each of which I can learn something from – and about. As they can from me. Everyone brings something to each person that entices you … makes you think something you would have otherwise thought … it’s the human interaction with each other that fuels your progress… individual pursuit is very important as well – but the human part is necessary unless you want to make yourself crazy – which is completely okay in my book.

Soooo…. say you don’t have this desire for knowledge or change or progress? Does your brain stop working? What is going on up there? That’s part of the reason I feel so strongly not to understand necessarily but at least to know, some of the thought processes that others go through in certain situations. Humans are such interesting beings. We are so complex and so completely different from each other but at the same time, the same… it’s so intense. I love it.

I love the sky and the stars…. and all of it’s infinite galaxies, wormholes, black holes and red summer suns. That was kind of off topic but I just thought of it right now and wanted to write it down. Probably because I really wish I could see the stars right now.

I am also really really tired. I am exhausted. I am going to go to sleep.

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