talking to myself

August 4, 2008

what weekend?

I was in a serious mood all weekend. At the dance party I was at the door all night – didn’t drink, didn’t dance. Nothing. Just worked at the door – and thank goodness for Ryan and Emily – who, without, I would have never been able to run the door in any kind of sane fashion.

Then Saturday I got up – went to bootcamp … then worked on some stuff at home – bought a few groceries – and then went to the movies with a friend. Saw the new Batman movie. I thought the whole thing was one giant action scene and the dialog was TERRIBLE. Now… granted the dialog doesn’t have to be the best thing in the world – but come on people. The action scenes were pretty bad ass though I will have to give them that. Overall I was kind of impressed, I wouldn’t have really gone out of my way to see it if I knew what it would have been like – maybe I should see it again? Sometimes the second time around I like movies better. We also missed the very beginning of the movie and I think that really bothered me throughout the whole thing. Just because I learned so much about movie beginnings in college and how important they are to the story. Eh. Maybe I will go see it again.
after the movie I went to a few bars and my roommate was out with his girlfriend and he was drunk. I ran into a bunch of people that I knew – and attempted to go to a dance party – but I didn’t drink and it was really late already so I just walked home alone …

Anyway – so saturday I missed a good friend’s wedding reception. I wrote it down in my planner and somehow completely missed it. I am so bummed. And I don’t have his number to get a hold of him since I had lost my phone – I feel like such a terrible friend 😦

Sunday I did laundry and a ton of band junk online. I now tell people to email me instead of myspace about shows – it’s SO much easier to keep track of dates that way.

I bought a bunch of blueberries since they were on sale at safeway, woohoo! And two avocados and some carrots. I read online about eating too many carrots turning you a orange-ish color (when I was on the carrot kick a week or so ago) and I thought that was a GREAT way to get a nice glow. I need more carrots! I ate an entire avocado yesterday that I mashed up and mixed some chicken into then ate it with some organic chips. It was really good. Yesterday I was so lethargic and I layed around almost all day – my whole body was just exhasted and I could barely get around the house and do anything without feeling almost narcoleptic.

This week is an interesting week. I hope the show goes well tonight – that way I will have money for this week – because if it doesn’t I could potentially be screwed at least until payday on friday. I am feeling much better about myself lately – and I know that it’s directly related to exercise, food and not drinking.

I wanted to party this weekend – but it just didn’t work out. Oh well. Maybe next weekend.

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July 21, 2008

What constitutes a good time?

How many things have to go “right” vs. “wrong” before you’re having a good time. I know some people go out and something bothers them so much that they don’t have fun. Others just let it roll off their backs and just have a good time anyway….

That really didn’t have much to do with why I clicked on “write post” today. I had a very interesting past four days. I am learning so much lately – I feel like I am actually making some kind of forward progress and it’s all stemming from sticking to my ground and doing what I want. All the while, not being persuaded by others. Which leads me to believe that I need to continue sticking to what I want, which I have never done before because I always try to make everyone else happy. I have made a vow to myself to not become involved in situations that I don’t have as much control over as possible, so that if shit hits the fan, it’s my own fault. Which sucks for other people – but I do what I have to do.
I don’t want to owe anybody. I don’t want to be obligated to anyone. I DO want help, but I do NOT want guilt. I want team-mates, but I need to be the captain.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking for team-mates. If someone doesn’t want to be on my team they don’t have to …. !
Anyway – enough with the silly analogies.
The weekend was good. Show on friday night – after party – then saturday I did some laundry and chilled out – and had another show last night.
I am really excited about The Upstairs … the shows are getting better and better and the word is really spreading.
This week should be decent. Working – promoting – booking – gym .. continuing to not let dumb shit get to me. Optimism – day 21. It’s still working. Mostly. haha Show again on sunday – which I still need another band for – but I will get someone on my lunch break when I can get on myspace and get some stuff confirmed. I really like my life right now. I am not sure how I am going to get by in August when I lose my job, but I know that I will…. so I am not too worried. I just keep working hard. Work work work.

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