I see me

I am absolutely fascinated at the growth and change that is happening in my relationship. I have never had a healthy relationship before… so I never knew this was possible. To talk things out. To feel upset and then everything is still okay.

We had triggers and blow outs and fighting matches growing up. I never knew that I could disagree…talk through it (no fighting)… and come to a resolution. That I could face my fears and my demons and trust that there will still be a relationship tomorrow.

Abandonment is a bitch!! It has allowed me to put up with the most horrendous relationships and people… all because of fear, low self esteem and sadness.

I no longer allow fear to guide me in my relationships. I feel strong, secure and proud to have those in my life who love and care about me. I am worthy and alive and happy.

human nature and it’s need for power

I admit it. I need a little bit of power every now and again. I even tend to get on mini power trips sometimes, but i do it in a very laidback fashion, almost as a joke, when I know i am kind of semi taking it seriously.

But… how can other people SERIOUSLY take major power trips and affect others lives in such a way that it really changes things for them. And do it with a clear conscious. I don’t understand it. It’s a very perplexing idea to think about.

How can one person, negatively affect someone else and find pleasure out of it?? I thought that human nature was the opposite. I thought that we were supposed to be good, pure beings, of course not without sin, but how come people want to hurt sometimes more than they want to help? I just don’t get it.

Well… that’s that for that. Not much else to go on about.